In general terms, it is mostly bad to have a chronic illness diagnosis. It doesn’t seem like a huge departure or exercise of logic to make this statement. I’ve talked already about the challenges that I face on a daily basis, how MS expresses itself negatively in my life, and other less-than-positive ideations. Is it really all bad, though? Perhaps not… and therein lies one of the low-level keys to living a decent existence with a chronic illness. Perspective. Developing the ability to see multiple faces of a situation… even finding a positive where there doesn’t seem to be one. In recent times, I became ordained online for the purpose of conducting a wedding. Because I am me, I ordained into the Church of the Latter-Day Dude. Yes, I’m a Dudeist Priest. I haven’t frequently tried to use the ordination as a platform to lecture or sermonize or anything like that because, let’s face it… that seems like a lot of effort, man. But hey, just for fun, let’s use some Dudeist ideas as a structure for today’s post.
Keep Your Mind Limber
If you are of a certain age (my age, or probably older), there are certain things that were dealt with behind closed doors, or at the very least through snickers and whispers behind someone else’s back. We don’t talk about feelings. We don’t try to unpack difficult emotional situations. And most of all, we don’t seek help. “<whispers> did you hear about Fred? He’s <turns nose up> in therapy”
A big thing that has occurred (slowly for me. Don’t do it like I did. Talk to someone) is doing work toward a point that instead of viewing your life through the lens of “my body is broken and of very little value to the workforce so I therefore have no value” you look at yourself and your body as something worth investing time and effort into in spite of the fact that you feel broken. I spend a lot of time now searching through affirmations (I know) and reading about others’ mental victories or Gratitude Lists, combing for something to resonate and become something tangible from which to take the next step towards a more healthy mental place. This morning, I was reading such a thing and one of the items stood up and smacked me across the face which was probably a little rude but…
In Buddhist philosophy, an exercise that they use in difficult situations (anger, frustration, etc.) is to “sit down” with the feeling. Have tea with it. Speak with it. “Thank you for being here. What is it that you would like to tell me? What are you here to teach me?” This is kind of the root of the limber mind thought. Not every bad thing is Actually Bad. Of course I am not coming up with an example of when I have personally done this, but the thing that I read qualifies and frankly gives me pause as to why I never considered it in the first place. The exact phrase (on a gratitude list) “What my physical issues are showing and teaching me” which was a jog enough, but then went on to express that “the pain … is not against me, it’s actually trying to protect me”. This thought rocked me. Yes challenges are expressions of damage and failings of the body… but why is it there? I mean… on a level different than “well there is plaque on brain fold 15 of the occipital lobe of the brain*”
*(artistic license)
Keeping the mind limber. It’s more than (and of greater importance than) “looking on the bright side” Perhaps there is no positive in a particular lesson. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t value.
Sometimes the bag is filled with cash, sometimes it is filled with unwashed whites
If you listen… if you read.. if you seek… there are lessons. Some of them are of insane amounts of value. Some may appear to be inconveniences… but even a bag of unwashed whites can be washed and value can be found within it. Sometimes the lessons can be that easy. Other times, honestly not so much. I’m still trying to learn what the value is in the lesson “You really can’t do a 1 mile flat-ground hike in 90 degree heat”. I’ll let you know when I get there.
I may do some more of these… I intended to do more than what happened here, but I got caught up in item 1.
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